I first learned this coping skill years ago in 2015 at a C.E.U. training. This is an artistic activity that you can use in your coaching practice or counseling practice and it can help to bring valuable insight to a problem that you or your client may be having. Everyone knows what a pie graph or a pie chart is, right? Well, that's what we're doing with Responsibility Pie. I will give an example, which is not about any particular person--entirely fictional--and in this example there will be a person going through some problems, and trying to determine where the responsibility for these problems resides.
If you haven't read my article on Cognitive Coping yet, you can integrate this into Step 2 of Cognitive Coping.
Responsibility Pie is not just helpful because it boosts insight. This activity is helpful when you consider Limiting Beliefs, Locus of Control, and Control Fallacy. The most important thing to remember here is that we all have control over the following three things:
What we say
What we think
What we do
I also want to add that if these three factors are what we can control, then we have to abandon the idea that we can control what other people think, say, and do. This can cause a lot of stress in a person's life. That is what Control Fallacy is: to believe that you can control things that you cannot control. That being said, we cannot discount our influence on the actions of others. People will react depending on their environment, and if a person is a part of their environment, then that person has influence on those people.
Here we go:
Let's call her Jen. Jen is having some problems at school. She has been held back in the 10th grade. There were numerous incidents at school due to Jen and her teachers not getting along very great, sometimes due to Jen being forgetful about some tasks, sometimes due to Jen's disruptive behavior in class (talking with friends) and possibly due to the fact that Jen's teacher lacks mindfulness/emotional self-awareness. Jen's parents have had to replace school supplies, such as backpacks, folders, and notebooks. This is an example of a Responsibility Pie that Jen might initially construct:
But, if Jen truly took responsibility, maybe by working with a friend, a parent, an aunt/uncle, a grandparent, a teacher, a tutor, or a coach. She could see that other aspects that she can control (and is therefore responsible for) are at work here. Why don't we take a look at a more accurate Responsibility Pie for Jen, maybe a Pie that Jen could develop with the help of a mentor. Let's see what a new, improved Responsibility Pie might look like:
A more accurate picture of control and responsibility emerges! Maybe the teacher really just doesn't like Jen, but now, we have more aspects of control on the table that can be influenced by Jen changing her school habits. It is important to note that this activity can be used to evaluate you or your clients' perceived Locus on Control and compare that to what we all can control. Often, people will list factors that they cannot control on their responsibility pie. And let's face it: people should only be held responsible for what they can control. This activity let's us focus in on those aspects of our lives that we can influence.
I hope that you have enjoyed reading this article, and I encourage you to utilize this technique in your own lives and practices. Feel free to comment below with any thoughts or suggestions on how you would use this technique! Thank you.